I somehow still can't make up my mind about it, though. Part of me feels like: "It's been 3 months already? I didn't realize I've been here that long. I guess I can't say 'I'm just new here' anymore." On the other hand, I also feel like: "It's only been 3 months? How much longer can I stand being alone here?!"
I simply distract myself from getting too down. I amuse myself with my surroundings: the buildings, the people, the birds, the weather. When I'm in my room, I guess I feel that I need to be extra-distracted that, most of the time, I skip some household chores until I can't afford not to do them anymore. Right now, my floor has a slight shade of gray where I haven't walked on. I'll sweep it later. My sneakers have a tinge of yellow where it should be off-white. I'll wash it tomorrow. I think my stock of rice grain already has weevils -- I should get to that right away.
Right now, I'm glad that it isn't too sunny and hot, so it's not too uncomfortable to move around while I attend to my laundry. The dim view outside my window feels a little too gloomy, however.
I'm trying not to over-think things. I've already proven that over-thinking gets me nowhere. So, my usual state of mind for the past couple of months here is that of a certain kind of calm. Like I'm floating on my back in a swimming pool. I'm not just drifting aimlessly and "going with the flow", as if I'm on some wild river going uncontrollably downstream -- I'm feeling comfortable in the pool of my choice, enjoying every square inch of buoyancy.
Oops. I heard the washing machine beeping. My laundry's done. Gotta go.
4 comments:
Sir, you know you can be alone without being lonely -- that's what the Internet is for. :D
Hang in there sir, friends you see in real life really help too. :)
Really, that's what it's for? I always thought that.. (cue music!) The Internet is for--- XD
so grab your and doubleclick, ----, ----, ---.
Hey nik, enjoyed reading this.
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